a lesson in French

Video Sharing at DropShots.com

the reign of the momster or why I love being a mom (and Sean is doing much better today, thank you)

"Will, pick up your toys, turn off the television and please, put your pants on!"

"yes, your majesty!"

my heart aches

the reality is unpalatable.

and I believe there's no word to describe a mother's feeling as she watches her child fall asleep his head lying on the toilet seat after he's thrown up, again.

my heart aches. my eyes cry. my soul begs.

but every second I am bashed by my love for my son.

full of love

I soldiered through the last couple of days braving fevers over 103° and deeming my ability at taking care of my two sick children. but a UPS delivery this morning shrugged off insecurities and exhaustion, filling my heart with abundant love from Spain and my butt with chocolate fat, and a good friend patted me on my back, her words filtering through my soul and reminding me to hope, to be strong, to be valiant.

thank you all for your kind comments and emails. I promise to respond as soon as I can.

Happy Valentine's Day,

xoxo

self portrait challenge - all of me #1

and my husband says I'm not funny.

ah the path to self-acceptance.

filling my life with love, art, adventure and good people. hoping. one day. I will look in the mirror and not see the imperfections of my body, only the reflection of my soul. glowing as it expands in wisdom. one day. I will love myself. fully. unconditionally.

Maman! telephone!

recently, I was startled to discover that my new Nokia cellphone's features included a voice recorder. and my mind literally started to reel when I realized it was also capable of recording voices and use them as ring tones.

you can listen to the "booger diggers unison choir" cellphone ring tone here.

my life, lately

thoughts and ideas are buzzing like a thousand restless worker bees and pinging on like fasten seat belt signs. too many things are squeezing into too little time. and it is harder than I thought it would be. writing, feeding, writing, wiping, writing, cuddling. new dreams pushing aside the old dreams. and the lingering, unbearable impression that everything is fantastically beyond my reach.

my multiple attempts at trying to be brave betrays the fact that I am not. I fear more than I trust, which I believe is a spiritual response to some raw wound, a void that yearns for inspiration, art, love, music, fun, but mostly love. I'm blinded by the shifts of life I aspire to. and often forget to live fully, wholeheartedly, incessantly. emboldened. and true.

my house, which used to be as antiseptic as a dentist's office, is now swarming with shoulds and oughts. toys are piling up  in our bedroom as a result of a "clean your room now!" strategy that is obviously failing miserably. Sean and Will, who spell Mommy "I.R.E.N.E." and have been implicitly banned from the video store last week, have now perfected the skill of pushing limits until we fall on our knees and implore the Lord Almighty for mercy.

in other "I think I need Prozac" related news, I have to organize a Dora-themed birthday party for 8 kids. 8.

and full-time single-parenting. again. 10 days.

"I know you pick your nose, I felt under the furniture"

my boys have picked up a new habit, literally.

I know I shouldn't mind as long as they don't eat it. but yesterday Sean got caught wiping his finger on the wall while Will prefers hiding boogers behind the couch.

I'd rather laugh about it. nervously.

to the only person I can call whenever I'm running out of toilet paper

Happy Birthday!

God knows we've had our ups and downs. but I look at the man you've become over the six years we've shared a bathroom together and I am flushed with pride. I can't even begin to tell you what a wonderful husband and father you are and how much your love and support mean to me. the happiness we've hovered in, the challenges we've met, the goals we've achieved, I'm grateful for everything we've survived, and for each day I spend with you, literally.

thank you for working so hard, for wiping our sons' bottoms twice, for loving me so much and for making the impossible dream a palpable reality.

I love you,

xoxo

one fine job

a lot of exciting events have peppered my life with blissful shock this past week. and every morning I stare unblinking up at the ceiling thanking the universe for all the good in my existence.

I. got. a. job.