we often tell our children that they can be and do whatever they put their minds into. let's show them how

I once stood in front of the mirror in the 2-bedroom apartment I shared with my mother holding a hair brush, and thanked God, my family and friends, and the members of the Academy for this tremendous honor.

will I ever win an Oscar? I don't know. and the truth is, it doesn't matter much. what matters is that I stop operating under the false assumption that "this" is too big for me. what matters is that I keep working tirelessly, that I keep being brave, and accept that "this" is just big enough for me to build the creative and fulfilling life that I want for myself.

The Beckoning of Lovely: One Year Later (via the lovely Karen)

when I have "one of those days"

I whine, pout and sulk for a good three hours and squeeze every ounce of anger and frustration out of my head. and then I do what all writers do. I go back to work, again. because I have learned. there's poetry, beauty and motion in everything we touch when we celebrate our everyday efforts to lead a more authentic life regardless of circumstances. because I know. the writer's life can be hard and complicated at times, but it can also enrich us beyond even our ability to find words to express it. 

La Parisienne

spiderboys, part two

they say kids grow up too fast, and I know this much is true. but I also know that in a few years from now Sean and Will will be taller than their father, use a ridiculously huge amount of hair product every day, develop a sense of compassion and respect for others, and ask if they can borrow my car, again. 

and though I contemplate my life with my sons now with much gratitude and delight, there's a part in me that can't help but think that the best is yet to come.

and every day, every year proves me right.

16: Moments

today, remember

to be certain in your own strength. to make peace with the transformation of body and mind that accompanies becoming a parent. to place disproportionate value on rain puddles, vanilla ice cream and comfortable shoes. and find solace in the unconditional trust that your child places in you as he grabs your hand before crossing the street.

today, remember. you are good enough. your voice matters. believe it. it doesn't take much more than that, I promise.

this joy+ride

summer this year

summer this year has been nothing but delightful, bringing old and new friends that are making me better every day, badminton games with the boys, a gentle breeze as I write my morning pages, grass under our feet and homemade green tea ice cream.

more summer: drifting, my favorite one, setting sail and untitled.

I want you to know

right now you ask yourselves why Mommy knits baby clothes and runs to raise funds for a hunger relief organization, and if there are really children out there who sleep on the floor, walk barefoot and don't know what a Pokemon is.

there are. this I want you to know.

I also want you to know that there is a joy in the act of giving that resonates far beyond a cause and the limits of distance, culture, language and time. that there is peace, and abounding gratitude in knowing that it will dwell in others throughout their lives and kindle a hope many had given up on.

I realize that this is not something that I can teach or pass on to you. this is something that you have to experience and choose for yourselves when presented with opportunities each day. to open your heart, see through outward appearances, and lead a life that benefits others in need.

but hopefully, one day, you will know what I know. 

there is no greater way to love, and live.

Kopila Valley Children's Home

sidekicks

Will: "Sean, Mom told us to clean our room."

Sean: "but I AM cleaning the room."

Will: "no, you're not. you're watching ME clean the room." 

Sean: "Will, you don't get it. it's called TEAMWORK."

Pia Jane Bijkerk

I'm getting there

the hardest thing is not to go back to the page every day. really. the hardest thing is to dwell contentedly in the life you've chosen for yourself, accept that this is what you do and that it deserves the same respect you show the ones who save lives, run their own business, serve coffee or decide to stay home to raise a child. but I know. I'm getting there.

Feed My Starving Children

Chicago

a walk through Millennium Park, late night conversations, a pajama party and drinking good wine with my Shutter Sisters. I believe there are moments in life that elevate your spirit in ways you could never have imagined, giving you the rare opportunity to awaken, and embrace the essence of who you are.

and as I held my sons in my arms at the airport, with my heart following its own dictates at last and a suitcase full of Hershey's kisses and microwave popcorn, I finally had the communion I had craved for the past 4 years.

to be a mother. to be a writer.

Fortunes

anything

"the maternal instinct is as mysterious as the sexual instinct, and as powerful. it's not rational. it's primal. it's one of the great joys of being a parent, too -the first time you understand that if a car were hurtling toward you and your child, you would absolutely throw yourself in front of it to save your child. there's a deep joy in realizing you're capable of that selflessness. there are things that you couldn't do as yourself -but as a mother, you can do anything. Anything." 

– Ruth Reichl reflecting on maternal figures in her favorite books, Cookie Magazine May '09.

Bloom, Grow, Love