let me just tell you this

I wish I were allowed to write about it here, but I'm not. so let me just tell you this.

today I'm grateful. I'm grateful for planting cherry tomatoes, basil and chamomile with my sons. I'm grateful for caring friends who make time to listen, for Ben & Jerry cookie dough ice cream, and the unwavering strength that I'm capable of as a mother. I'm grateful for understanding what matters most and the things I waste my time worrying and thinking about. knowing that two days ago my life could have turned into a parent's worst nightmare. and that under different circumstances, I would give anything to have what I have right now. 

miki** (via abby try again)

spring manifesto 2010

it's about planting vegetable and herb seeds.

about wiping up the balsamic vinegar dressing on my plate with a piece of bread, chatting with my best friend from kindergarten, holding a glass of wine, wearing my favorite t-shirt, with my sunglasses on and Polaroid camera loaded with film. finally.

it's about turning 33.

about stocking up on allergy medication, about yoga practice, handwritten letters, signing up for a cupcake class and repainting the entry hall anything but white.

it's about planning Sean and Will's birthday party with a 2-month delay and a family trip this summer as part of a long-term project that my husband and I have recently picked up.

it's about being passionate about what I do.

inspired by Shari.

spring manifesto 2009

so you want to buy a film camera

when questions are answered

"I burn a lot of omlettes. it's a regular occurrence - I'm drawing robots with my kid, I'm jotting down an idea I don't want to lose, I'm taking the call. and then the smoke alarms goes off. I "work" on holidays. last Monday I stayed in bed and read all day. I send birthday gifts three months early or three months late - but it's just the right gift. I can eat cereal every day for a week, wearing the same clothes, never leaving the house because I want to finish a book. I like last minute trips out of town and not answering email for days. the last time I was at a monastery, I tweeted about it.

this is not a balanced life. but it works. and the more I pursue my passions, the more uncomplicated my life gets, actually. there's not much in my life that I resent. and if resentment builds, I'm swift to get it off my plate. it's not the imbalance-ness that stresses me, it's doing meaningless things that aren't taking me where I want to go."

- Danielle LaPorte, the suck factor of life balance, + passion as a cure to stress

Polaroid is back!

and this means:

that my husband and kids are going to watch me do my happy dance until the end of the month.

that I will never compulsively stock up on film again.

(and consequently) that I will not cry anymore every time I open my fridge and notice how little I have left.

that I will continually be inspired by my Polaroid photographer friends whose sense of beauty, adventure and wonder are constantly encouraging me to expand beyond my comfort zone, be playful and grow.

that even if the past two years have allowed me to slow down and become more thoughtful about what I choose to shoot, I am so grateful for the freedom and spirit of enthusiasm that are reignited back into my creative process and propelling me to explore again.

that all aspiring Polaroid photographers now have the opportunity to experience the excitement and spontaneity of instant photography without technical limitations, and fall in love with it.

that today, I'm going out and shoot.

impossible announcement

crazy, magic, impossible: Polaroid is back

the IMPOSSIBLE project

on balance

some days I wonder. if balance is something that has to be achieved, or is experienced ever so briefly whenever I find pure joy in the little details and ordinary moments that collectively provide a glimpse of what a fulfilling, imperfect, authentic and happy life truly is.

hmm.

Holga + PolaBack = Holgaroid

(thoughts from this weekend) where feelings of worthiness and gratitude stem from

acknowledging that going back to the beginning (over and over again) is part of the creative process.

finding my soul in the things of the world: the freshly scrubbed floor in my kitchen, the exhilarating sense of completion while sharpening colored pencils, dropping off bags of clothes that my boys have outgrown to the local Salvation Army.

unplugging, especially during those times when I feel vulnerable.

indulging in something just for me every day, and giving myself full permission to live on my own terms. my friend Jenny introduced me to this practice years ago when I was going through a particularly rough patch, and it has become my inner compass to access simple joy and inspiration when I become moody, restless and dissatisfied.

teaching my son how to peel a potato.

creative cues

haibun

women writers

10 things to remember when picking up the camera again

clean your lens.

wear comfortable shoes.

don't worry if it's been a while. you were busy living your life, and there's nothing wrong with that.

keep your eyes open.

be fully present.

possess a spirit of giving. remember the joy, gratitude and sense of togetherness you experience when a single image gifts you with the opportunity to pause, reflect, hold onto an emotion and delight in the beauty of simple things.

shoot what you know, experiment, shift focus, try a different angle or play with light. but keep shooting.

recharge your battery.

Anne Lamott calls them "the shitty first drafts". Nancy Slonim Aronie writes "great work comes after good work which comes after lousy work which comes after no work. remember that order." please do.

don't be daunted. have confidence in yourself. it is really like riding a bike, I promise.

Picture Spring: 30 days of soulful seasonal celebration

where I want to be

in a café rue Montorgueil, wiping up the balsamic vinegar dressing on my plate with a piece of bread, chatting with my best friend from kindergarten, holding a glass of wine, wearing my favorite t-shirt, with my sunglasses on and Polaroid camera loaded with film.

I have to admit. making choices lately that are in the best interest of my family but not necessarily mine has been one of the most difficult things that I've had to do. and staying up all night on the bathroom floor cleaning up vomit has not really helped me put things into perspective.

but I know. soon, my boys will launch themselves from the couch and play ping-pong on the dinning table. soon, I'll accept the fact that I did the best I could with the resources I had at the time, be inspired again, and affirm that there is always more to life than we realize.

I know, soon, I'll be there.

November last year

you're 8!

I love you my crazy little monkeys,

Happy Birthday.

everything is going to be alright

curling up in bed with my boys, favorite books and an overwhelming sense of uncertainty as circumstances are forcing our family to make important decisions. yet every day I am reminded of the courage that resides deep within each of us, of the love that ties us together and the goodness that we are capable of. that every challenge that surfaces in life is a new opportunity to learn, and eat chocolate. that I actually don't know everything that I need to. and that it's okay.

that no matter what, everything is going to be alright.