marché Saint-Honoré

Dallas Clayton

holding hands

no one told me that one day, my child would be old enough to wipe his own bottom without supervision. one day I would not fret over spilled food, high fever or struggle with feelings of inadequacy and guilt. and that my heart would ache, oh so much, realizing that motherhood is not about feeding little bellies or shaping characters anymore. it is about providing my sons with a sense of safety and consistency. it is about helping them make their own choices, and fully understand the consequences of those choices. it is about preparing them for a life where they will no longer need me.

Golden Gate Bridge - Polaroid Pinhole

Ile de la Cité

that one moment, gone too soon. when lessons are learned, and you walk around with your soul enlightened and a better sense of gratitude for the little things you've grown attached to over the years. whether you're holding your child in you arms as he falls asleep, or making your husband his lunch bag.

Bento boxes

hoping

this past year has been a very difficult one for me, and I wanted to thank all of you who have visited this site, sent e-mails, cards and showed support in one form or another. I rolled out of bed this morning after spending the last couple of days lolling in my pj's and fighting a bad cold, helped the boys put on their mittens and watched as they ran off leaving trails of happy footsteps in the snow. 

I hope to have more moments like this in 2009.

Happy, Happy New Year everyone.

remains of summer

12 hours between us

last week my mother moved to Seoul, South Korea. and I miss her. while walking up the escalator at the mall, when picking up my boys at school. I miss her, yet even though this has altered my life in very unexpected ways, though I am afraid, I know that letting her go is part of growing up. I miss her, but I'm grateful for the opportunity we have now to deepen our bond, and build a healthier, more loving relationship.

Maria Antonietta Mameli: Human Observation - Red Bags

crush

"because she's pretty and nice and has beautiful hair. and she smells good."

tables and chairs

playing Christmas songs early in the morning while making my sons breakfast is the best way I've found to help me deal with some events in my life right now. and though I am grateful for the lessons I've learned this past year, I can't wait for 2008 to be over.

pont des Arts

taking a chilly walk across the pont des Arts, a new scarf around my neck and losing my train of thought a few times.

Michael Kenna Photography

carousel

today I taught my son how to draw a straight line with a ruler. I watched him holding the pencil a bit too tight, his eyes widening with excitement. I watched him and I realized with a sense of awe and meaning for life. all the small, ordinary little things that he's learned from me.

Christian the lion