how do you survive the holidays when there's a child missing?

how do you survive the holidays when there's a child missing? with the help of your framily. a beacon in the storm. my safety net. showering me with loving care. and taking the edge off that now familiar sting.

people often tell me that I'm so strong. but I am not, believe me. there are many hours spent under the covers after the boys have left for school. more hours contemplating dirty dishes, being angry, watching tv shows, crying in the shower, and ordering takeout food. the truth is, I am only as strong as the love and patience that my friends give me. and they're giving me plenty. and for that I am forever grateful.