beating the bad karma away

a lot has been happening lately, and I want to thank you all for your kind emails. my husband has recently been diagnosed with chronic hepatitis B and our family is now running a fearful marathon of blood tests and vaccinations. this is also slowing down the closing process. and jeopardizing it. and someone attacked and insulted me on one of the blogs I'm writing for, which has led me to seriously question myself and eventually quit the job.

yesterday morning I curled up in bed with my heart broken and begged the universe for a brief pause in my life. trying to still my body and thoughts, like hushing the gentle oscillation of water to sink in the calmness of a warm bath. but I could not stop crying. I dragged myself out of soft, comforting cotton and stood in front of the bathroom mirror for a while. I could hardly recognize myself. and I hated that.

I knew that as soon as I'd see them an overwhelming sense of safety would quiet my tormented heart. my refuge from the storm. my girls. greeting my sadness and fear with a meatball sandwich, fun stories and unconditional support. the grass under my body, blooming roses and the Cathedral of Notre-Dame enclosing our trivial conversations and Converse Chuck Taylors with unique beauty. soothing the howling winds pounding in my soul. and reminding me that yes, life is difficult. but I am strong. and I'll get through it.

I hope you like the new design.

Comments

[johanna]

I am so sorry to hear about this. Sending you tons of postive energy!

[Carrie]

I'm so sorry Irene. I hope that things get better for you...you deserve it.

[lia]

Oh, Irene, How do you do it? you say so much with so few words. You have such a loving heart, this shows through SO much. Things will get better. You are resilient and I know you will get through. You and your family are in my thoughts prayers. Hugs. Lia (art junk)

[jen]

Oh, Irene, I am so sorry! I wish you were not having to deal with all of these stressors at the same time.

(((Hugs))).

Jen

[Suburban Turmoil]

Irene, I'm so sorry to hear about this news. And to have an evil commenter on top of it. Ugh.

I just had a mean letter bashing me and my MOTHER published in the PAPER. So believe me when I say on that front, I know how you feel!

Stay strong.