something's wrong about today

something is just wrong about today. I don't know what it is. I just can't put my finger or any other part of my anatomy on it no matter how much iron and calcium and vitamins supplements I take to uncloud my thoughts. I feel like flubber. or like that slim thing in "Ghostbusters". like a completely flabby-minded child. I hate everything. and I mean everything. I hate my house. I hate my hair. I hate my body shape. I hate my shoes. everything and anything annoy me. the strap of my bra. my strap-less bra. pedestrians. other people's kids. the fact that I have to hold my breath to fit into my favorite jeans. that one really hurts. I don't know why this happens. but once in a while, I just want to change everything about my life. just like that. I even have an inward vision of how it could be perfected and reinvented. a house of our own. a new city perhaps. a new body. a little of fashion style wit. and a talent to dazzle my husband and to share with the world. is routine flattening me and my sanity to the ground? I exude insecurity and dissatisfaction.

somebody please kick me.

Comments

[trudie]

i'll kick you, but only if you kick me back for the same reasons... i think in my case (at least this time), it's been a severe bought with pms coupled with that my son is starting school in ONE MONTH. i've found that when i'm feeling insecure/nervous/flat out uncertain about the future, i start feeling crappy about the way things are now. aren't your boys starting school soon, too? maybe that's playing with you on some level, too--who knows. but honey, i'm right there with you!

[Flare]

If we're dishing out kicks, give me one too. I feel like that today. What the hell is going on? Actaully, I have been feel like *this* all week. **sigh**

Let's vent to one another. Soon, ok?

[bella]

i've been feeling like that for the past 6 months. it's an underlying thing.. for me, it's too much to even look into right now. I can't afford any ripples in my lake today. <>

[Lynn]

And all the while I thought I'm the only one needing a kick!

[blackbird]

I'll come over and re-arrange everything in your home...I do that for people, I'm good at it. Then we will clean out your closet and spend just a little money fixing up your wardrobe...I do that for people too..
then I will help you make a list of things you are happy about, we'll have wine and you'll feel better.

maybe a new haircut.

[llamaschool]

I've been feeling the same ennui, but in my case I can blame it on the sad and foggy weather we have in San Francisco in July. The 20th was also a full moon, you know.
BTW, if I remember correctly from the French version of "Flubber" that my niece was watching this weekend, don't you feel like "Plaxmol?" (LOL)

[Vanessa_AR]

Sometimes I feel that way, but it's usually associated with PMS. You need lots of calcium. And wine. NO woman needs a kick. We've been kicked around for too long. You need a hug. Here's an internet hug, girlfriend: ((()))

[Momcat]

Boy, can I relate to this one. Actually, mine is more than hating everything. Lately, I have days where I suddenly feel this overwhelming sense of complete despair. It comes on randomly and nothing triggers it. Scary, huh? I'm going to the dr as soon as my life slows down enough to allow it. 15 months is too long for it to be post-partum. Anyway,I hope the "hatin'" stops soon for you--take care!

[Marilyn]

"...is routine flattening me to the ground?..." How aptly you describe my current life. And yet...I'm mired in such a conundrum. I go to work in less than two weeks, after having not worked for 5 months--and I've LOVED not working. So it's not that I'm craving the 'excitement' of a workplace. Have I just grown weary of my own company after all this time?? Hmmm, must ponder that one...