ransom

the groaning sounds of my tormented dog ricochet around the room and parades the full theatricality of my life. 10 days of single-parenting. again. the dominant, recurrent, indubitable theme of my life. my sons are three and a half years old. everytime I look at them my heart reels with admiration. they're my trophy. I've survived. and if life is fair, motherhood should now involve minimal difficulty and effort. but then I think. hey. if life was fair, my maiden name would not be Bang.

every morning I strap on a backpack of lingering exhaustion gently, yet assiduously, deflecting all domestic duties. today I am imbued with stiffness, a sad result of my pitiful attempt at jogging two days ago, and try to navigate a happy balance between quality time and kids cable network. but when I told my mother over the phone that Sean and Will had been watching tv for 3 hours, she kidnapped them for the evening and is now holding them for acceptable ransom. that is, my two-hour napped, sane headed, remote-control freed, vitamin c-ed self. and I think, that's pretty fair.

Comments

[blackbird]

10 days!
Bah!
You can do that standing on your head.
When he gets home, hop on a plane for a few days and I'll entertain you.
I am very entertaining.

[Lucinda]

Thank God for the Momster. You have released me from my TV/quality time balancing guilt.
I swore when Baby was born that she wouldn't watch a moment of TV until she was two. Ha. Ha!
I hate it when you're left there alone. If we were neighbors, I'd come over and help out (and I'd be wearing See by Chloe, of course)... but I'll have to just send you could, strong happy thoughts instead.

[christina]

I'm so glad your mom gave you some time to yourself. SO necessary. And Irene, you're writing as always is this exquisite mix of poignant and hysterically funny. I loved the line about your maiden name. Laughed out loud in fact. Keep that humor! The days will fly by... And I too wish I could come hang out--navigating dog poop and wrestling with your little guys.

[Steph.]

Ditto for me, Irene. I'm so glad you got a little time away to just be you---not mother Irene, but Irene...the one we all love to hear about day by day through this blogging world. You deserve it!

[KB]

Good job grandma!!!

some well deserved time on your part, and the kids probably couldn't be happier spending a little time with grandma.

:)

[Vanessa_AR]

Sounds like you really needed a little kidnapping as well as Irenenapping. Ms. Bang? Seriously? That's priceless!

[MommaK]

God bless that mother of yours!! You need a break, Ms. Bang ;-)

[kath]

oh Irene, i love your writing, you always say exactly what I feel. Kids can survive 3 hours of tv without too much trouble - it certainly will not damage them for life and if it gives you some head space I say go for it. But then getting them out of your space for a couple of hours altogether sounds like bliss. I hope you didn't spend that time cleaning the house - I hope you read a book, had a bath and did something for yourself.

[Nicole]

That's totally fair. The ransom, that is. Not the maiden name.

[bella]

I had to laugh at Bang. Not because of Bang, but the way you put it. Yes, you can do it standing on your head.. you can also do it if Mom kidnaps them for 3 hours a day - every other day - and you hit a day spa to massage those sore muscles.

[jenny vorwaller]

irene,

did i tell you that i'm a twin? i don't know, i have no clue, no idea...how my mom did it!! :)

and kudos to gramma for saving you, we all need a little time away, to refresh the batteries...:)

[Antonia]

God, I wish someone would do that for me.

[Marilyn]

Here's to some quality alone time...that's what Grandmas are for, right? ;)

[Alex]

you sound so unhappy. Good for your mom for give you a break. Now if your mom could just come out this way...I am not sure what she would kidnapp since I have no kids...but I would like a three hour nap too. I slept in almost two hours this monring and still am feeling the daze you describe.