my family, sort of.

I've had the loneliest childhood ever. most of the time, I came back to an empty house after school, ate, studied and went to bed by myself since the age of 12. some believe that it has enabled me to develop independence and self-reliance. I believe I still have not fully recovered from the void and isolation.

yet I don't feel bitter about the circumstances of my dysfunctional home life. I've been blessed with a handful of wonderful people who have welcomed me and given me the opportunity to share the experience of a family. they were the children of my parents' friends, a small community spending every weekend, Christmas and summer holidays together. the early years we mostly spent hours performing our own versions of StarWars. I still have whole sequences of "return of the Jedi" recorded in my head. these memories are priceless. we shared the afflictions and doubts of adolescence, the first time my heart ached for a boy, used a tampon and my idolatry for Leonardo DiCaprio. they put up with my many whims. they have guided me with the innocence of their young age and with the genuine love of older brothers and sisters. I remember everytime they surprised me with a gift on my birthday or comforted me after I threw up in the swing or got locked up in the bathroom or gave me a safe ride home after a party. they cried at my wedding and gaze at my boys. I owe them my sanity.

everytime I see them I realize how much I love them, in a discontinuous and moderate way, and how well these people know me. and how well I know them. their face expressions, voices, laughs, clothes, everything about them is familiar and reminds me of another buried and treasured souvenir. they're the family I never had. sort of. without the annual reunions and inheritance issues.

Comments

[Vanessa_AR]

Irene, you have a wonderfully positive attitude about life. I admire that (and you) very much!

[Auntie M]

I'm glad you have these friends... your adopted family. Who defines what family is anyway? Family should be the people who share those special moments of your life. From your stories, I'm sure you are providing a wonderful family for your boys.

[carol]

I'm so glad that you still have these people in your life - in your boys' lives. They sound very special.

[AnP]

I agree with Vannessa. You have a positive attitude in life and that is really good. Others would have probably turned "bad" due to the lack of parental "guidance" however, you chose to learn to appreciate and value the people who gave you the family guidance that you needed and sought.

Your husband and sons are lucky to have you.

[Kathreen]

oh, what a sad and lonely childhood, but how happy you are now with your little family and daily joys.

[laurene]

this text slightly reminds me of my own childhood...how come? you know the answer my dear~ good memories...right there in my heart and mind for ever...good girl~
to the Momster open to the world ^ ^