my beautiful, beautiful boys

it is Saturday afternoon and the sky is pouring out melancholy rain over Paris. even my dog is looking out the window with gloomy eyes. my sons and I are cheerfully dancing on Phil Collins' "you can't hurry love" jumping around and shaking our booties as if we had been peppered with vitamin C. my too-old-for-this-now body is agonizing and choking the whole time but watching my sons beam with joy trying to copy my every move I know this is one of the moments I totally live for. right here, right now, this is it. this is what my life is all about.

these days I think a lot about how I feel about being a mother. and I have absolutely no idea. asking this very question I guess I should talk frenetically, even gasp on occasion, about how wondrous the experience of motherhood is. my eyes should sparkle with pride as I excitedly mention every milestone, every detail of the early months. I shouldn't stop smiling thinking of the tiny feet and gummy grins. I should remember the 8 months of pregnancy and the miracle of their birth with tearful eyes. I should advertise the hilarious "bad dragon and lovely princess" story and parade the drawings they have made for me, a couple of potatoes with four toothpicks which are supposed to be little men, priceless gifts I often take for granted. I should talk about love. about the meaning of life. but I don't. as if the logic and obviousness of what I should feel were paralysing me. I look at my boys. my beautiful, beautiful boys. and all I can say and am really sure of is that watching them babble in French and eat yogurts using spoons are the most endearing things I've seen in my whole life.

Comments

[Seriously Steph.]

How beautiful, and how true! Too often we don't stop and think all of those wonderful things you meantioned about our beautiful families and our wonderful lives. Instead, many of us blog of the stressful side of parenting or our kids funny sayings. It is so good to remember how lucky we all are, and to gift thanks. So THANK YOU for reminding us!

[carol]

people never talk about the good stuff - I'm glad you did. You'll remember this and forget the hard parts. I promise.

[Angie]

I can see your love for your children shining like a beacon!

[Auntie M]

I'm constantly amazed with my children. When they are speaking French I agree -- a most endearing thing. "too-old-for-this-now body"?? I can't believe you are that old!

[Susie Sunshine]

And from this moment on, no woman will ever be able to dance as awesomely as you did to those boys, and that's what they will remember.

So HA! to all you future girlfriends out there.

[Aimee]

Beautiful written, Irene.

[Pink Rocket]

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY my dear, dear friend!!