morning thoughts

bashful beams of light tell me that it's morning already. I am still swinging and floating between two worlds. I love those few seconds before I open my eyes. I can hear my husband snoring and feel his heavy left foot on my right leg. it gives me an odd sense of connection. I feel safe. my son Sean's head is resting on my left arm. as he cuddles up to me I am moved by the touch and feel of his little body pressing against mine. he seems peaceful, like he's home. a few seconds later, my dog is vigorously licking my ear. I like to believe that it is her way to say good morning. I don't know if I am repelled or touched. it is a little hard to breathe. we definitely need a bigger bed I think. then I hear this familiar little voice. my other son Will is awake and patiently waiting for everybody to get up. but he has found a curious thing hanging outside the blanket. that is my left foot. he giggles. the most beautiful sound in the world. he starts talking to it. then he hugs and kisses it. he's no stupid. he knows this will wake Mommy up. and it does.

I don't know a lot about life. about the world as I seem to glimpse it. about the universe I'm evolving in. I don't know much about motherhood. about friendship. very little about marriage. but this morning I have been reminded of the value of life. of the act of giving. and unconditionally loving. illness, anxiety, fear, doubt and guilt have reminded me that I need to embrace my life rather than constantly try to control and perfect it.

today I have been reminded of the six hundred different reasons why I married my husband and the millions why I love my children. and I guess that is all I need to know.

Comments

[carol]

You got it! I feel like a proud mother who just watched her child perform a great role in the school play.

P.S. Irene, you need to start writing more - you are a GREAT writer.

[AnP]

I agree with Carol. You can even make the mundane sound beautiful and interesting. It's as if every experience can be seen in a different light when you write about it. Your words are true and full of hope. It surely brightens up my day whenever I read your entries.

[Becca]

This is a lovely post.

[Auntie M]

Great story. I think it's usually the small things that people do -- giggles, kisses, hugs -- that remind us why we are here.

[esther]

irene unni,just for my curiosity, what is the official language in your house? ^^?

[coffeegirl]

I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are a phenomenal inspiration.

[Angie]

What a beautiful post.