momsterland

my husband drifting around the apartment jauntily asking me if he can help is causing local irritation. I know. the inference is clear. I am a bad wife. and my physical symptom is probably an involuntary confession of guilt.

I love being a stay-at-home mother. but wrestling with unanticipated stress, the annoyance of small things, little details, the whole ghastly gamut of emotions, I don't understand. I don't know why I can smooth out bumps, ease sibling rivalry, end a fight, laugh out loud, sing, concede, ignore the mess, hug and kiss yet I can not stay calm, have lunch with my kids, speak softly, embrace exuberance, give up, stand the noise, cook healthy and stay away from the computer. I feel great and I feel bad. I am complete and I am bored. my children fill my life with meaning. and they drive me crazy.

I love them.

I hate them.

I can't live without them.

another day in momsterland.

Comments

[blackbird]

It is my opinion that it is "asking" if they can help that is most irritating.
Why not just break up the scrap between the boys?
Take out the trash?
Cook something for lunch and CLEAN UP afterwards.

How can they be capable enough to put together a two year documentary on the evolution of a building and not be able to remember that today is the day the recycling must go down to the street?
For example.

[Connie]

Sorry you are having a bad day. I think we all feel that way at least four days a week. (lol)
Get the kids involved in something and you sit down for ten minutes and really relax. You just need some time to rejuvinate yourself.
Connie

[Windy City Wendy]

So eloquently put. Another day in my momsterland too.

[mama_tulip]

Just came across your journal this morning. Reading this entry, hearing someone else write the things that I am feeling and thinking at this very moment has been rather enlightening, and has left me with a sense of relief -- that I'm not the only one out there who feels that way.

[Heather]

I feel like you jumped inside my head and wrote down exactly how I feel. You wrote it perfectly. I can relate, sometimes I bust my butt all day and then John will innocently come in and say, "whew! what happened to the bedroom" and my heart sinks and my temper rises and I feel like a lame wife and mom. Dumb but true. It's hard, your in the company of many great mom's (and your one of them) who feel the same way.

[Vanessa]

Isn't that the most pathetic thing, that men actually ask if they can HELP??? That's such a dumb question - either men are really, really stupid, or they are great con men.

[SAHM]

So we're not all alone after all. What a relief. Now if you could only remind me of that tmorrow... when it all starts over again.

[kassi]

YES yes you can help. pick up your dirty socks and take out the trash without being asked, asked, asked. hmm...i know your pain. thank you for expressing it much more eloquently than i ever could.

[christina]

Irene, today you were inside of my head with that post!

[Erica]

Hi...just found your blog--love it! Am looking forward to catching up....

[Suse]

The yin and the yang.

You put is so well.

[Suse]

You put IT so well.

IT IT IT

Slip of the songue.

[jakapk]

Amen sister!

[Marilyn]

Sounds like most days of most Moms I know! I wonder...is that conflicting jumble of emotions what ultimately makes it so rewarding?...that process of looking back and remembering mostly the beautiful moments and allowing the aggravations to fade into the background? I don't know--I'm not a mother...but I know that the experiences in my life that have been the most meaningful have never been arrived at by walking a smooth path. :)

[Charmaine]

Sending you good thoughts and positive energy, Irene. I'm sure things will get better as the boys age.

[christina]

Your first thanksgiving ever? How fun!!

[Lucinda]

You wrote exactly what I am thinking nearly every day of my life.

And today, my husband said, "Baby has a -really- poopie diaper," while he was playing with her, then handed her to me.

I stayed silent because I wasn't in the mood to argue, but I was so white-hot mad.

[chrixean]

I understand you OH SO WELL.... :-)