letter to my 16 year-old son

"my dear son,

right now you're going through a roller coaster of new emotions. you're obsessed about friends, sex, studies, money, but mostly sex. you realize that your parents are flawed and have shitty tastes in music. your hair is out of control. you have different behaviours and reactions than those we approve of or expect from you. you need to question every value we have taught you, every truth you believe in so as to make the transition from boy to man. and we know it's a hard time for you. we understand that it may be the only way you're going to figure out who you are and who you want to be.

my dear son. I've seen so many things. things I hope you will never see. I've seen people killing people in the name of ideology, religion and race. I've seen the earth raging, I've seen children starving. I've seen horror, I've seen evil. but I've also seen beauty so glorious that I could almost choke. I've seen Love. I've seen bravery. I've witnessed miracles. these I hope for you to see. for they will make you a better person. life is difficult but there's not much that can't be overcome. enjoy the moment, learn from the past and focus on the present. pray every day. be open to all kinds of music. music will enrich your spirit and uplift your soul. follow your instinct but listen to others. I know you probably don't want to talk to your mother so hopefully throughout the years you have built a network of reliable and trustworthy elders to guide you in your life. your golf coach. your music teacher. talk to them. always hope for the best. recycle. volunteer. remember that all people deserve your respect no matter the color of their skin, social status, religion, culture and personal beliefs. but stay away from extremism. watch good movies. be a loyal friend. and be a good brother. always be grateful for what you have. and know that you never give too much. if you're lost ask for directions. learn how to forgive. treat women with respect. please don't smoke. never, ever drink and drive. read as much as you can. widen your horizon. love unconditionally.

I know that I am not a perfect mother and I realize that I can't protect you from everything. but I did the best I could. and I have faith in you. so remember that I love you. your father loves you. we've always have. never, ever doubt or question this. there's still so much I want to tell you but right now you're happily showing me your little bootie so I can wipe it.

so, my 16 year-old son. go. and embrace your journey.

God bless you always, your Mommy"

Comments

[coffeegirl]

While the mascara streaming down my face may fool you into believing I am crying, I'll have you know that I intentionally did my makeup this way because... because it's Goth Day at work... yeah... that's it.

Now if you'll excuse me, my heart just lept out of my chest and I have to go pick it up off the floor.

That's was both terrifying and beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

[Susie Sunshine]

This is astoundingly beautiful.




I'm off to cry now.

[carol]

Irene, that was amazing. You are a very gifted writer with so much introspect. Your boys are sooooo lucky! Hope you're feeling much better today. C

[Antonia]

That's really beautiful. It makes me think about the years ahead, the responsibility of raising my toddler into a wise and productive man. It's such a heavy load to carry, but the most worthy and deserving one on Earth.

I just read every post on your blog, and am grateful to be able to share some of your insight.

[AnP]

Had I been given a letter such as this when I was still in my teens, it would have saved me and my parents a lot of heartache.

Very beautiful, Irene! I wish that I'd be as understanding when my son becomes a teenager. Not only are you a good mother (as your writing reflects, but you are also such a good writer.

[Kathreen]

this is such a beautiful letter, with some inspiring ideas - keep up the communication and open mindedness he might even confide in you when he is 16