handle it with care

when faced with a search for truth or significance in my sons' first day at school, I am unable to articulate or reflect whatever was going on in my mind. it was a beautiful day in August. the checklist was completed. I was ready to let go. I really was. and ready to trust life. yet following my children's jaunty footsteps I had this lingering apprehension approaching the very moment when everything I taught my kids would be revealed. I can't help thinking that behind Sean and Will's teacher's friendly glasses lies an intense scrutiny of how I've been raising my sons. I have spent 1.281 days on this assignment. I have been imperfect. irrational. nurturing. firm. and loud. very loud. but I did the best I could. I know it is time now to share it with the world. so please. handle it with care.

Comments

[joelene]

What a lovey post, I am sure that you have excelled, regardless of you feelings. I am sure that they are two wonderful boys any teacher would be thankful for.

[christina]

Irene, I can't help but read that post from a teacher's point of view, and think to myself--I wish there were more mamas like you. Mamas who talk to their kids, who struggle to be involved, instead of giving up. Mamas who go to the park and jump on the bed and cook them pasta in the morning for their preschool lunches (I'm in awe that you did that by the way! You are so dedicated.) I can only imagine that Sean and Will's teacher will see right away what I see when I read your posts. That you love your kids a lot.That you spend each day taking on the process of mothering with thoughtful care--even when it's exhausting and frustrating. Which it can be. I can't wait to hear what the two of them thought about being with other 'big' kids. How have your days changed now?

[Lucinda]

So glad the first day is out of the way... This makes me think of hearing from a teacher that they can immediately tell which kindergartners have never been read to by the ones who hold their books upside down.
So when Baby turned a book right side up at the library a few months ago before "reading" it, I breathed a huge sigh of relief!
I agree with Christina... From the lack of parental involvement I hear about from teachers of young children, you've got nothing to worry about. You may have made mistakes, but you've been there for your sons through it all- and that's more than many other women can say.

[Charmaine]

That's a big step, the first day of school. We're all our worst critics and even though I don't know you, the fact that you're introspective about how you parent makes you a fantastic mother in my book!

[Steph.]

How could someone who pours out such a kind and amazing heartfelt words NOT have had a profound and wonderful impact on their kids? Their teacher will find in them all the wonderful qualities they watched in their mom and immulated. Glad you made it through the first day, friend!

[alex]

I can't imagine. It has to just get easier from here on out. How is it to have so many hours left open, naked from the joys and struggles of a little one?

[KB]

I think that must be a standard issued mom feeling, because I felt it with my son on the first day of preschool and then again in kindergarden.

[Vanessa_AR]

Your sons will reflect your image in everything they do, and you are a wonderful mother, so do not worry! They will succeed at everything they do.

[bella]

I think your boys will flourish and excell - with a momster like you - how could they not?
You are a great, great mom.