a little harder than usual

a weekend of artistic delight surrounded by good friends who slept on an air mattress in my living-room, encouraged me to eat a piece of chocolate cake late at night like when I was 12, without feeling remorseful or worrying that my belly is going to hang over my belt buckle the next day. and doodled on my journal, making each time I look at it now a truly inspiring and joyful invitation to write.

my husband is away in "the city of Switzerland" as Sean says. and I don't know why. but the waking up sandwiching between my two boys every morning, scheduling an endoscopy for my dog. mistaking enthusiasm for inspiration. and trying to build a blanket fort that doesn't fall apart every 10 seconds. it is a little harder than usual. and no matter how much I want to use life's opportunities with gratitude. no matter how hard I try to live in the moment. I think that I am, lately I've been feeling. a bit, lonely.

Comments

[Chris]

Aww... Lonely for your husband, or lonely in the larger sense, for adult people in general?

[Vanessa]

Wish I could be there to keep you company, Irene. Write me if you need me, my friend.

[Elaine]

I find myself often awake late at night when Mark is away... as though I don't quite know how to go to sleep without him and just have to wait until I am too exhausted to struggle through awake for another moment.

This traveling husband gig? It sucks.

Thinking of you!

[Ninotchka]

{{{sweetie}}} If I lived nearby, you know we'd totally be hanging out. :(

Is hubby traveling a bunch again? More than usual? I'm sorry, luv.

[jess]

For even the best people, which you are, life ebbs and flows. It makes the sweet moments better. Although it's hard to be lonely. I know. I'm thinking of you on the other side of the world.

[susan]

i recently stumbled onto your journal when i was researching for my trip to paris. i am a korean-american living in southern california. just wanted to say you live in a beautiful city which you capture so well through your pictures. oh and your twins are too adorable! hang in there.

[paintergirl]

Oh dear heavens-the blanket fort. Bless any poor mother who has to make a pefect one for their small boy(s). Mine will throw a fit if it doesn't withstand any kind of structural jarring. i.e. cars, trains or animals crossing over it and into the cave. I have told him he needs to be an engineer.

hang in there sweetie. do something very very special for yourself.

eating chocolate cake late at night with friends is the right idea.

[Marilyn]

That's why we have Twitter, right?! ;) We'll see how I handle this next month...gotta get my road legs back...it's been awhile since I had to deal with touring... Hugs. But sleepovers on air mattresses combined with guilty eating? Divine.

[kristen]

I love the journal doodle - inspiration indeed. I know the lonelies my friend and it's ever more apparent when surrounded by the daily routines. xo

[kristen]

I love the journal doodle - inspiration indeed. I know the lonelies my friend and it's ever more apparent when surrounded by the daily routines. xo

[jennie]

sometimes I think motherhood is like that - it's like giving all of yourself (energy, time, attention) to others can be just so draining, that suddenly, even though you're with other people you feel lonely.

[kala]

Irene, my then-boyfriend-now-husband spent 3 years apart, and I remember how lonely it felt. I simultaneously admire your courage and sympathize with the situation, and give you a warm virtual hug of encouragement. Hang in there. You are stronger than you think!

Wish we could meet up one of these days! :-)

[Julie]

I have cousins in Switzerland!

[meredith]

I know how you are feeling.

[tomoko]

I'm feeling empathy heartache... I'm sure a loooong tight hug from your husband awaits you when he gets back!

[PouletteSchmoulette]

Awww, I can sympathize with you. I don't have any close friends who live where I do, and I go through periods when I just wish I could call one of them up and say, "We're coming over to hang out for a bit." That's when I hit up my internet girlfriends and read about their adventures and comment on their posts. It helps, at least a little bit.

[Heather]

I'm so sorry, I can't imaging my husband being gone all the time. If it weren't for John, I'd say I'm feeling a bit lonely too, it's hard making friends, and sometimes I yearn for a relaxed conversation with a friend. I wish we lived closer, I'd invite you over to watch Ellen this afternoon, have some coffee and mint oreos.

[Heather C.]

I've been feeling isolated too, Irene. It's odd - finally I have everything I "need" and I just want to run and hide for a bit. Hope it passes.

P.S. I collect notebooks, too!

[Waya]

Oh, I do know how that "single parenting" can be old and lonely. Hang in there Irene! Glad you had your cake though!