party of four, almost

I felt a shiver of pleasure as I enclosed the huge shopping bag with contentment. I got my Christmas gift yesterday. a new black coat I've been eyeing for nearly 4 months. I nestled my head on my husband's shoulder. and absolutely loved it. like complementary acute angles. a human tetris. and then, he did it again. he would always let slip some unpalatable news when I'm happiest. somewhere between two stations on line 10 my excitement quietly expired.

another 10 days. alone. on New Year's Eve.

aargh.

Comments

[TED]

You're beautiful. Your husband and boys are very lucky to have such a special wife and mom. And a writer to boot. Nice. Hang in and hold on. I just thought you should know a complete stranger was pulled in by something, enough to want to say hello.

Peace be with you always. And may God continue to bless you.

Faith&Confidence

[erica]

Oh, that's a total drag.....I agree with the above: you're very strong to handle this..and you should post a photo of the new coat! I'm going to be sans husband on new year's eve, too...I'll think of you!

[Cindy]

I empathize with you, Irene. Hang in there; you can do it! He had better give you a BIG present when he comes home next year because you truly deserve it! :) We are women of strength and courage... when life gives us lemons, we make lemonade!

Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family!

[carol]

I'm so sorry that he's leaving again. It's hard enough to parent - let alone parent single handedly half the time. Keep your chin up and try to come up with a new three year old type New Year's tradition, like a count down at 8:00 PM ! :)

[sarah f.o. (scat)]

I empathize totally. My husband began travelling frequently about 10 years ago when our kids were small. We lived nowhere near any relatives. I'm shy and have always had trouble making friends, especially ones who would support me in difficult times. I felt alone with a crushing world on my shoulders.

Weekends were endless. Holidays were practically unbearable.

I realized that I'd eventually have to cope for my kids' sake, if not for my own.

First, I saw a doctor for help with my depression. He prescribed some meds that helped raise my spirit some. Enough to cope, anyway.

Second, I decided that I needed to run my family independently of my husband. I couldn't put my world on hold for his return. It took time and effort but our kids needed to feel that their family was complete even without Dad. The times when he was home felt like holidays!

Third, I had to accept that his travel made me angry with him.

Fourth, and finally, I had to accept that, for whatever reason or reasons, he had to be away from home. And when he was home, he had every reason to be tired and maybe not the perfect energetic helper for the kids or me. I had to feel compassion for him.

He's struggling, too.

We may not be living the family life that we dreamed of but this life style is nothing new or unusual. Throughout time men have had to leave their loved ones to hunt food, go to war, work inhumane hours to keep their families alive.

If you're religious, meet with your clergyperson or worship privately. If you have friends in Paris, invite them over more often. Your time together will be constantly interrupted by your kids and you certainly can't be a good hostess but your soul will benefit. And so will your friends'.

Whew, I think it's time to wrap this up! Please remember that I'm sharing some ideas with you and absolutely not lecturing you. My hubby is actually home from work but away at the gym for a few hours. My kids are 11 and 14 now and fairly independent. I'm lonely, too. At times like this it feels good just to write to a living, breathing person!

[Eric at Paris Daily Photo]

Joyeux Noël Irene!